A shallow dilemma

“The subtle art of losing it”- No, I am NOT some expert giving my perspective on the depth of life and its small cherish-able moments. In fact, if anything, I am doing the exact opposite. I am just a seventeen (soon to be eighteen!) year old girl who, like any other seventeen year old in the 21st century, is living a simple monotonous life of suffering from repeated boredom despite countless efforts. However, I have realized that this boredom, besides encouraging procrastination (which is a LOT by the way!) also has helped me to grow my mind in multiple ways and question many things that I previously didn’t even seem to have noticed.

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It is on some days that I notice my curled eyelashes resembling the motion of a slithering snake on its prey, the intensity of melanin bringing out the rich hazel color in my eyes, the sharp curve of my “oh-so-perfect eyebrows” and the prominence of my small yet bulbous nose; whereas on other days the same nose has become a tiny speck of disgrace to my face, the same curled lashes have been smudged by dark mascara, and my eyebrows have turned into, lets just say, a girl’s worst nightmare. It is on days like these that I truly wonder whether self-love really does exist or is it just a deliberate conspiracy framed against all of womankind to prevent us from losing it?! And if it is, then what exactly are we losing?? The misogyny that dwells constantly in our society like a ringing bell, or is it just….ourselves? Have we really come to a point where cosmetics are what define our features, clothes are what resemble our personality and rumors are what define our character, or is it just me living in this “tender” world experiencing occasional days of self-loathe and hatred towards my body.

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Now I wonder, why is it that on some days I feel like a Roman goddess walking out of my royal bath, whereas on other days I just feel like a nobody covered up in rags and scarves. “Is this dilemma too shallow to be even called one, or am I just subtly losing it”, I wonder as I pat some more compact on my not-so-pale face.